


Heart In Hand

by giraffewrites



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Little bit of Fluff, M/M, Post Season 3, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Spoilers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19793608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giraffewrites/pseuds/giraffewrites
Summary: It’s been three weeks and two days since the battle against the mindflayer at Starcourt mall. Steve knows this because he’s been counting the day since he almost lost Billy.In which Steve and Billy refuse to sleep, and Steve asks Billy to trust him.





	Heart In Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone's alive because, and please, feel free to quote me on this, FUCK the duffer brothers for 1) not knowing how a bullet proof vest actually works 2) killing off queer coded/abused characters

It’s been three weeks and two days since the battle against the mindflayer at Starcourt mall. Steve knows this because he’s been counting the day since he almost lost Billy.

The battle’s affected everyone in different ways. In a twisted, sick sense, it’s brought everyone closer. Joyce and Hopper got the push needed for them to finally start dating, Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Will’s friendship is even stronger, and Max and El confide in each other more than ever. Not to mention Robin’s now in Steve’s life. He’s finally found a friend who cares about him. Not his status or his money, but himself as a person.

Of course, not all of them have come out of this smelling of roses.

Billy’s barely slept since he was dismissed from hospital, the luxury of sleeping medication no longer available by the dispense of a nurse. Every time he’s accidentally fallen asleep, he’s awake again within minutes, his mind haunted by memories of possession and sacrifice.

Steve’s no better, in all honesty. He’s too scared to fall asleep in case he wakes up and Billy’s gone. There’s no way for anything to get into their world but he was naïve enough to believe that last time. He can’t take any chances.

Billy moving in with Steve should’ve soothed their anxiety, but it hasn’t. They’ve taken to doing almost anything to prevent sleep. TV, music, getting high, the lot. It gets the job done; neither have slept properly in weeks, but deep down they know they’re not handling the situation properly. It’s not as if they can go to therapy about it though, and everyone else seems to be in the healing process, they don’t want to drag them back.

The clock in Steve’s room tells Billy it’s half past two, and his first thought is _is that it?_ Staying up all night makes the late hours of the evening and early hours of the morning become an extension of day time, rather than hours where they should be winding down. They’ve taken to officially starting their days at quarter to eight – forty five minutes after the weird, somewhat outdated shopping shows have finished, and kid’s cartoons begin.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Billy looks up from where his head is placed on Steve’s chest. His eyes are heavy but he won’t let them win. “You know the saying there’s not enough hours in the day?”

Steve hums, arm wrapped around Billy’s back with his hand on his hip, softly squeezing it.

The TV shows them a woman chasing after a man down the street, only for a hand to suddenly appear from an alley and drag her in. Billy’s shoulders tense and he looks away immediately. “Yeah, there’re too many hours in our days.”

“I know,” is all Steve can say, because it’s true. He does know. Their days are long and packed with anxiety. Unless they’re around other people, it’s hard to find pleasure or distractions from themselves. He presses a kiss to the top of Billy’s head, “I know.”

They get through two episodes of a Spanish soap opera and are at the end of a film Robin suggested when Steve gets an idea. “Try and sleep.”

Billy looks at him as if he just suggested he goes to war in his underwear. “What?”

Steve looks his boyfriend in the eyes, hand combing through his hair as he sits up. “Try and sleep. I’ll stay awake, but you try and sleep.”

“I can’t,” Billy hisses, chest getting heavy. “You know I can’t, why are you-“

“Hey.” Steve’s put his hands on Billy’s cheeks, moving in close so their noses are touching. “Listen to me. You trust me, right?”

“You know I do,” Billy tries making his voice louder, but that would mean letting the tears spill over his cheeks. Turning his head, he presses his nose into the palm of Steve’s hand.

“Then listen to me. You sleep, I’ll stay awake. The moment you have a nightmare I’ll be right here, ready to comfort you.” Steve’s own tears are threatening to fall. “I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, and I meant it. I might not go to summer camp or know multiple languages, but I know how to protect the ones I love. I _can_ protect the ones I love.”

His cheeks are wet when Billy pushes his face into Steve’s neck, arms wrapped tightly around his slender figure. He stays in that position as Steve settles back into the mount of pillows hiding their headrest. If Steve feels Billy’s finger gripping onto his hair, he doesn’t say anything.

“I’ll be right here.” Steve moves Billy’s face out of his neck, holding his chin. His lips press against the space between his eyebrows. “The moment you wake up, I’m going to be here. Got it?”

A wet hiccup leaves Billy’s mouth, and despite his heart seeming likely to sore out of his chest, he nods his head. “Got it.” Repositioning himself, he lays once again with his head on Steve’s chest. This time, closer to his heart. It’s faster than normal but slower than Billy’s, and that along with Steve’s fingers in his hair, act as relaxers.

Is it likely that Billy will wake up in a few minutes, terrified and on edge? He’s sure of it. Will Steve be there, ready to comfort him and talk him down? Absolutely. So, he puts his trust in Steve, wearily closing his eyes and focuses on Steve’s heartbeat.

He may not wake up in the best state of mind, but he’ll wake up in the arms of the only person he’s ever fully trusted. It has to be worth a shot.

**Author's Note:**

> giraffewrites on tumblr


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